Have you ever come across the term “counseling” in school? How much do you know about peer counseling? I have participated in a two-days peer counseling workshop. In this article, I will tell you more about peer counseling. 

 1. What is peer counseling? 

Peer counseling emphasizes using helping skills with a non-judgmental attitude, along with knowledge about human growth and mental health, to counsel people who are our equals- peers in age, status, and knowledge (e.g., our classmates). Instead of solving peoples’ problems, peer counseling tries to help them find their solutions and encourage people to take action. To be straightforward, peer counselors help people to help themselves. They could help people clarify their thoughts and feelings and explore various options and solutions. 

 

2. What are the basic qualities of being a counselor? 

Some of you may ask if you are suitable to be a counselor. To be a counselor, you need to have skills, knowledge, and attitude. It is easy for you to acquire skills if you practice more. You also need to know about human development and counseling. Even if you have gained professional knowledge, you need to have a positive attitude (e.g., having a high EQ, sensitive to feeling, caring, patient, curious, and having the capacity to tolerate pains, uncertainty, and boredom).  

 

3. How does a counselor think about clients? 

Counselors meet different clients every day. They believe that people from different family backgrounds and experiences have different stories. Instead of only focusing on what they say, they also have to lead the clients to think differently. Some clients believe that their experiences (i.e., their stories) are bad, so they often think negatively. Peer counselors talk to them and help them find another perspective to see their whole stories. Eventually, people can find solutions to their problems when they come up with a new perspective. 

 

4. Can we use those helping skills under any condition? 

We should use helping skills under three core conditions: empathy, respect, and genuineness. We need to respect people from different backgrounds. To achieve empathy, we should make the people feel that they have been understood. To respect them, we should listen to others’ problems attentively without imposing our own opinions. If we are not able to do so, we should kindly refer the person to someone who can. To show our genuineness, we should build trust with others by being authentic, truthful, sincere, open, and clear. 

 

5. How to deal with silence during counseling? 

Sometimes people are unwilling to talk about themselves during counseling. In that case, we need to use non-verbal skills such as observation skills. First, we need to focus on kinesics (e.g., body movements, gestures, facial expressions, eye behavior, and posture) and paralinguistics (e.g., the ‘how’ of the message, voice level, pitch, and fluency of speech). Then, we need to concentrate on the cause of silence and their feeling. After that, we have to use other skills to reopen the verbal interaction (e.g., paraphrasing, questioning, and reflection on feelings). 

 

In conclusion, being a counselor does not mean that you need to help people solve problems directly. Instead, a counselor has to help people to help themselves by thinking about their stories from a new perspective. A counselor should be respectful, genuine, and empathetic. During counseling, it is important to break the silence by observing, focusing on the cause of silence, and reopening the verbal interactions.