Back in this time last year, while everybody else and I were undergoing the endless stress brought by repetitive daily life, an enormous tragedy was approaching silently. It was the coronavirus disease of 2019, which no one had any ideas about how serious it would turn out…

 

Okay. I know the pandemic isn’t something that dramatic. It’s just that this is kind of an unusual incident which brings a huge loss in population to society and somehow spreads too much anxiety. For me, this is the first time I witness how the world functions under an international public health emergency besides reading about the pandemics in history, so there are more or less some brand new impressions I have towards this kind of disasters. And because of inclining technology development nowadays, I have also found a couple of new, intriguing issues that I couldn’t even notice under normal situations. Allow me to share a few of them with you now.

 

As a student, the sudden change in ways of conducting lessons is obviously one of the largest variations I face during the spread of the virus. ‘Listening’ to lessons online appeared fair to me at first since I thought the effectiveness of gaining knowledge would just be the same Yet soon, something went totally wrong. An exam was around the corner, and I felt like stuff I hardly understood was gradually getting more, especially during online lessons when the teachers were explaining. I tried to search on browsers for more information and train myself with loads of exercises after lessons like other students would but they are of no use. Unfortunately and not surprisingly, my results for that exam turned out to be a massive mess.

 

Since then, I began to think deeply about what caused the decline in my overall performance. Months later, I concluded something I didn’t expect at all from all that pondering——the passivity in my learning process was the answer. Unbelievable, right? It may seem like learning itself is an active process. Homework, researches, quizzes…we could finish them as we take action. Then are we eager to finish them in the first place? This pandemic told me it was not true. In fact, I was only following the lead of the courses. Because of the rapid spread of viruses, almost everything is conducted online, which represents a total loss of physical contact with acquaintances in reality. Without the pressure brought by teachers, I discovered that I don’t actually know the ways to bring up the motivation to understand things by myself. The education system is still pushing students, and students are still bearing pressure passively without knowing how to learn and why they should learn. Instead of just waiting to be spoon-fed, I realised I should take the initiative to know more about the world. What a horrifying fact for me to know, yet alarming enough.

 

Another trouble, the psychological downfall, was more of an annoying side-effect of this pandemic. I had absolutely no idea how a lifeless tiny virus would destroy human beings before the pandemic went ashore on the land of Hong Kong. Nevertheless, as the numbers of diagnosed cases and deaths soared, everyone and I around started to worry about it. Whenever I have to go anywhere else, I must wear a mask and bring a bottle of ethanol like I had mysophobia. I bet the scariest being in the serious times were crowds indoor. Living in a busy city like here, formation of crowds is inevitable, and this is why I chose to stay at home. Fears did not disappear even when I was in my room, however. I was still afraid the viruses could spread through ventilation, pipes or even the air. Coincidentally, restless feelings brought by decline in academic performances came into play by then. The situation was way too sticky that my mind was filled with anxiety. Everything appears to be uncertain all of a sudden. As life goes on, media have become a source of my negative emotions that I felt disgusted to hear anything from them. To be honest, this negativity could be resolved if I had figured out rationally and calmly the reason I was overthinking but I just couldn’t find the way thinking out of this darkness.

 

Now, you might be wondering why I’m able to write this without sounding like a maniac. Well, this world is not just about tragedies, there’re gorgeous parts of it as well. Especially when the viruses has taken effect all over the globe, some of the parts revealed their extraordinary beauty. I would occasionally be distracted by them in the hard times. One of the parts I enjoy is the change in surrounding temperature. When society first noticed some eruptions occurring in certain regions, governments started to announce restrictions for citizens. These restrictions led to a large decrease in economic activities and lowered the production of greenhouse gases and wastes. Though the economy was suffering, the environment had its burden of carrying hazardous substances reduced. After days of abnormally warm weather, I finally felt the seasons becoming more distinguishable by temperature for it’s not extreme anymore compared relatively to last year. It’s too bad though, that this phenomena would only be available during the pandemic. No one knows whether it will be kept when the time’s over.

 

Very disorganized so far, isn’t it? There’re problems and different changes that come to me, making it more complicated. I felt like I was in a different space-time during the pandemic, for I was seeing what I don’t normally see and pondering about things I never expect I would. Everything was too unrealistic that I lost control of my mind. And yet, this is reality: it may seem worse but somehow better. No matter how disorganized or even chaotic it will be, it’s always an irreplaceable section of my memories.